The effect on my parents

I was not the only one in my family that has read this book. I was actually recommended to me by my parents. They read the book before I did and knew it would have an impact on my life. After reading the book, my parent have become more open to me and been more understanding. They trust me more and listen to what I have to say. This book has been in circulation among a group of friends of my parents and each family has been affected by this book. I recommend this book to families that often fight. I think that by reading this book, their family can become less stressful and more peaceful.

This book's effect on me

Tonight at CCD, we had to choose qualities that we think define our lives right now. Surprisingly, I chose peace and one of my top five qualities. It really made me realize how much of an effect this book has had on me. a month ago, before i started reading this book, peace would not have even been in my top 25 qualities. Now I can honestly say that everyday I try to live a life of peace. Every single day I use the lessons I have learned to solve conflicts. Now, I do not have nearly as much drama in my life.

Section 4: Spreading Peace

This section was fairly short but was very deep and impactful. It pretty much rounded up the whole book. I was introduced to the peacemaking pyramid. This pyramid shows all the steps when making peace with someone else in your life. At the bottom of the pyramid where you start is "getting out of the box and obtaining a heart of peace". I learned how to do this in the previous section and those steps have become a part of my everyday life. The second step of the pyramid is "build relationships with others who have influence". The next step is "build the relationship". This step may take time but is an important part of the peacemaking pyramid. The next step is "listen and learn". Often when we try to build a relevant relationship with someone, all we want them to do is listen to us. We never actually listen to the other person, and when we do, we are usually close minded. As much as what we have to say is important, listening to the other person is a big factor. The final step is "teach and communicate". When trying to make peace, sometimes we expect other to know what we are thinking. We need to communicate with them and help make peace.
Along with the pyramid, came 3 lessons.

• Lesson 1: most time and effort should be spent on the lower levels of the pyramid
• Lesson 2: The solution to a problem at one level of the pyramid is always below that level of the pyramid
• Lesson 3: Ultimately, my effectiveness at each level of the pyramid depends on the deepest level of the pyramid-my way of being

I have never read a book that has been so impactful on my life. I find myself getting along with others more often and easier. I now think before I talk and wonder my motives for making certain decisions. I have found more peace in my life than ever before. I am very glad I read this book because I can "sleep better at night" knowing that my heart is at peace. My relationships with other have also been impacted. I have grown a lot closer to my friends and even my parents. I recommend this book to everyone. It has had a major impact on me and I think it will on everyone else that reads it.

Section 3: From War to Peace

This last section war more about how we can bring our hearts back to peace rather than leaving them at war. I learned that there are steps in finding inner peace and getting out of the boxes that keep our hearts at war. The first step is to look for signs of yourself being in the box. If you know you are in a box and are not in denial, then it is easier for you to help yourself out. Sign of being in the box are blame justification, and horriblization. I found that I often see these signs in myself. Now I have completed step one in my life and can move on to step 2.
Step 2 is to find an out-of-box place such as an activity, relationship, or memory that brings joy into your life. Now whenever i find myself in a box, I have tried to go to my room and listen to music or play a sport. I try to do an activity that will calm me down and let me think about whether my heart is at peace or war.
Step 3 is to think about a new situation in your out-of-the-box perspective. You have to think about how being in a box that kept your heart at peace has affected others and how you can help them. This past week I have done a lot of reflecting and following these steps. I have found that my heart has been at peace more and I try to remain out of my box as much as possible. I have tried to make peace with others as well as myself and so far it is working out very well.

A situation of my own

Today my mom and sister returned from a week trip to Tennessee for a Destination Imagination Global Finals Tournament. Upon their arrival home, I wanted my mom to immediately start asking me about how my week was and how my track meet went. I didn't care about how my sister's team had done, I just wanted her to pay attention to me. When she started talking to other people instead of me I started to become angry with her. I couldn't figure out why she was being so selfish. Then I realized that I was in the "I-deserve box". When she returned, I had a choice; either congratulate her and ask her about her trip or impatiently wait for her to ask about my week. I betrayed my initial judgement and decided to wait for her to ask me how i was. I had not gone to the Global Finals yet I still believed that it was more important for her to ask about my week than for her talk to all the people she hadn't seen while she was gone. I felt that I deserved to be asked about my week. I was seeing her as an object, not a person who had missed many people, not just me, while she was gone. Once I realized how selfish I was being, I was able to leave the "I-deserve box" and see my mom as a person. I spent the rest of the day enjoying the welcome home party instead of sulking around like I would have.

Section 2: From Peace to War.....Part 2

The second half of section 2 introduced me to 4 boxes in which people often live their lives in. These boxes are referred to as the "worse-than box", the "better-than box", the "I-deserve box" and the "must-be-seen-as box". When we are in these boxes, we feel justified to make wrong decisions in our lives. People in the "worse-than box" and/or the "must-be-seen-as box" usually take the blame for others and try to make themselves look better by doing so. Those in the "I-deserve box" and/or "better-than box" blame others to try to makes themselves look better. I think that I usually find myself in the "I-deserve box" and the "better-than box". When trying to resolve a situation, I blame others, making me fall into those two boxes.
Another thing I learned from this section is that the boxes that we find ourselves in when justifying ourselves depend on our upbringing. Someone who grew up in a demanding and critical environment might find themselves in the "must-be-seen-as box" or "worse-than box" while those who grew up in a self-satisfied and wealthy environment might be in the "better-than box" or "I-deserve box". Although my family is not particularly wealthy, I was an only child for 5 years and was spoiled. I think this may have contributed to why i find myself in the justification boxes that i do.

Section 2: From Peace to War

Right now I am in the middle of section 2. So far I have learned about the reasons why people often betray their better judgement and make the wrong choice. Often when people do not follow their senses, it is because they feel justified, or better than everyone else, or because they want to be seen. Now when faced with choices, I step back, take a look at myself and try to determine if these are any of my motives for choosing the choice I made.

Also, when your heart is at war and you see people as objects, you usually make the wrong decisions. You think that others have no right to be there and they rob you of peace. We tend to blame others rather than take the responsibility. Another sign that you are betraying your senses and making the wrong choice is when you see the world as unfair, unjust, burdensome, or against you.
There have been many times in my life where I have experienced these views of others, myself, and the world. Now that I am aware of what these views lead to, I can look back at these events and realize that in the end, those views are what caused me to make the wrong decision.
One example that was used in the book was about a man named Mordechai. He was a blind man living on the street. One of the people included in this book, Yusuf, was a young boy and saw Mordechai drop all his coins on the street. Yusuf saw Mordechai as a object and walked away instead of helping to pick up the coins although his first sense was to help. He betrayed his senses because he saw himself as better than Mordechai because he was Jewish and Yusuf was Muslim. Yusuf's heart started out at peace because his first thought was to help Mordechai. Then he had a choice; either honor the sense or betray the sense. Because Yusuf betrayed his sense and walked away, his heart became at war. If Yusuf has honored his sense, his heart would have remained at peace and he would have continued to see Mordechai as a person and helped him.
This section helped me more with solving conflicts in my life, rather than avoiding them all together like the last section. In the past couple of days, I have been faced with many conflicts. I looked at how I viewed others in these situations and found that I usually see myself as better than others. Now that I am moving forward, I think I will be better at making the right choices when a conflict comes into my life. I will try to see others as people and not see myself as the victim in every situation.

Section 1: The Heart of Peace

So far everything I've read in this book has been super useful. What I have learned so far is that in order to achieve peace in my life, I need to see others as people rather than as objects. When you see others as people, your heart can be at peace, but when you don't, your heart is at war. For example, when you see others as self-centered, demanding, and inconsiderate, you are usually seeing them as objects rather than people. When you see others as people, you are more likely to help them in their time of need.

Since I have started reading this book, I have found myself in situations in which I could see others as objects or as people. Now I stop and think about my actions and whether or not my heart is at peace when i make my decisions. I found that it is easier to forgive people when your heart is at peace and you see them as people. I hope the rest of the book is as helpful as this first section.